What do a messy office, a stiff back and a negative friend all have in common? They are all examples of the things we tolerate - often without realizing it - that try our patience, dull our spirit and drain our energy. This month's article will help you look at what you tolerate in various aspects of your life and help you choose what to accept (or not
accept) from yourself and others.
To your health, happiness and success,
|What Do You Tolerate in Your Life?
What do a messy office, a stiff back and a
negative friend all have in common?
They are all examples of the things we tolerate -
often without realizing it - that try our
patience, dull our spirit and drain our energy. They
may be so subtle, of such long standing, or so widely
held as normal that they don’t feel like something we
tolerate but more like “that's just the way life
The fundamental principle here is that the universe
treats us just as well as we demand to be treated.
Yet, we often move through life accepting less than
best from ourselves and others. Furthermore, it
costs us our vitality every time we tolerate
something that really isn't up to our standards.
If you are committed to making changes that will
bring you greater peace of mind and happiness,
looking at what you tolerate in your life
is a great,
empowering place to start.
Here’s how to get started:
- Make a list of three things you put
up with in the various areas of your life: home, work,
health, romance, friends and family, money,
- Looking at your list, what items do you choose to
minimize or eliminate? By starting with baby steps,
you give yourself the permission to succeed and
build confidence. If, for example, you choose to
minimize your messy office, start by trying to
clean up your desk or bookshelves.
- By taking a deeper look, you may find that there
are limiting beliefs that have supported you in putting
with these things for so long. In the case of the
messy office, you may think to yourself: “I don’t
have time to clean this up” or “I’ve always been
disorganized”. Or, for other things you
tolerate, perhaps some of the following
thoughts sound familiar: “That’s just how it
is”; “That’s the price I have to pay”; “Don’t rock the
boat”; “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
Try adding the words “until now” onto the end of
your negative beliefs and see what happens.
- What is the benefit of continuing to tolerate these
things? There is usually some kind of payoff – even
if it’s as simple as maintaining the status quo. What
part of you does not want things to change?
Revisiting the messy office example, perhaps you find
some comfort in holding onto old files "just in case
you need them". Acknowledge that part of you that
doesn't want to change.
- With your friends, family or coach, develop a
strategy for eliminating or minimizing each item on
your list. Commit to making real changes. In the
case of the messy office, you may choose to set
aside a half hour every Friday afternoon to clean up
your desk. You can then expand this to other
weekly action items until your entire office is exactly
the way you want it.
Create a support network for accountability,
feedback and celebration to help you
along your path to success.
As you choose to minimize or eliminate what you
tolerate, you will enjoy greater confidence, joy
and empowerment. Now that you're in the driver's
seat of your life, be sure to enjoy the ride!
Amber Rosenberg is the owner of
Pacific Life Coach, a life and business
coaching company that guides entrepreneurs, small
business owners and other professionals to
success on their own terms doing what they love.
She is a contributor to the book 'Inspiration to
Realization', a self-help book for women, a popular
speaker, and a writer for Know
Yourself Magazine. She also has 10 years
marketing and PR
experience for Fortune 500 companies and non-profit
organizations. To sign-up for a COMPLIMENTARY
half-hour phone coaching session, order a signed
copy of her book or sign-up for the Confident
FREE monthly e-zine, go to
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